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by the Phillionaire Chapter 1 - Chapter 1 starts. I was sitting in my office working one hot August afternoon. As I glanced around the room, I could see objects that described my personality, painting a picture of a man who is mostly a stereotype, yet having a few quirks to give him a slightly distinct personality. There will be a lot more to me, but not until the character development chapter. I glanced at my watch to indicate that nothing was going on in the office or my life. That's when a plot walked in. Looking up, I beheld the most ravishing beauty I had seen since the story started nearly two paragraphs ago. She walked up to my desk and dropped a very large plot device on a stack of papers. "What's this about?" I queried suspiciously. "That's for you to find out." she retorted. "But it will only take 8 chapters to do it, and we'll also have a gratuitous sex scene in chapter 3." I swallowed hard. Although she hasn't been described properly yet, I could tell that she was written to be a ferocious lover. I prayed that the reader would skip to that chapter, or at least skim. "Alright, Toots," I stated. "This plot device is interesting enough to keep me going. I'll check it out." "You do that, she said coyly. And with a wink and a smile, she quickly showed some foreshadowing and left. I think she liked me. I mopped the sweat from my forehead. Was it hot in here, or was it just the writer's description? I picked up the plot device and studied it. Too vague to figure out. What I needed now was an inexplicable coincidence to reveal more of the plot. The phone rang. "Meet me at the Generic Bar on the corner." said a husky voice. "I understand that you have a plot device. I think I might be able to help." This was my big break. I excitedly grabbed my hat and opened the door to exit. I stopped to pause. Although I had gotten a lead in this case, I realized that the chapter was ending, and there had to be some dramatic line to set the mood of impending doom. I had no idea how right I was. Chapter 2 - A New chapter I walked in to the Generic Bar and looked around. The place was filled with background characters, adding to the mood, but doing very little to advance the plot. "I understand that you have a plot device, said a voice from behind me. I spun around and came face to face with a minor but important character. We exchanged smiles indicating that we've known each other for a while. It was a good friend of mine who often helped out of many plot holes. "I haven't much time," said my friend, "so let me tell you what I know." The smile faded from my face. I realize that we have started a conversation without any major descriptions of his character. That meant that his comment about not having much time was a prophetically ironic statement. He was in danger! "That lady who gave you the plot device is The Big Boss's gal. I think it might be a trap." I wanted to warn my friend that he was in danger, but I was too late. A shot rang out, and my friend fell into my arms. "Take this, said my friend through his dying breaths. "Its a cryptic clue, He said as he fell lifelessly to the floor. "At last," I thought. "I have motivation! And I'm past the 'point of no return' too!" I looked out the window and realized the chapter was coming to an end. I knew there had to be a puzzling question to add suspense to the end of the chapter, but what was it? What was it? Chapter 3 - The character builds I sped down the highway in my character-building car, the kind of car you would expect me to drive. As I was driving, I was listening to some music that indicated that I had a softer side and wasn't all work. I then held up a picture of my dearly departed friend and shed a tear. I was gaining dimension every second. As my car raced forward, I opened my wallet and stared at a clipping from the paper. "Good family cop gunned down by mysterious Boss, read the clipping. My father's picture showed beneath. I gritted my teeth and continued forward. Although it was completely unfeasible that my father's murderer and the person behind the murder of my friend were one and the same, I was getting the suspicion that this was a distinct possibility. After all, I was in the third chapter and there wasn't much else to go on. I pulled my car up to the side of my office building and hopped out. Entering my office, I spied my trumpet on its stand. I picked it up and started to play in a manner that would imply that I practiced frequently. "Mom wanted me to play the trumpet." I thought to myself. "Builds character." I sadly put down the trumpet and paused dramatically. I reached into my pocket and fished out the cryptic clue my friend had given me. It meant something, but what? "Maybe I can shed a little light on the subject," said a voice in the doorway. It was her! The woman from chapter one! "But first," she continued "how about a little flashback?" I hate to admit that I've never really been into flashbacks before; I was more a symbolism kind of guy. But the way she flashbacked fleshed out her character so perfectly, I started to have my doubts about my literary narrative style choices. "So you see," she said in the present, "that's why I came to you." I had to admit, she really built her character well. She then leaned over and gave me a soft kiss. "More foreshadowing?" I said. "No, more like establishing sexual tension" she smiled back. Finally... The moment I've been waiting for. Like a lion stalking his prey, I started the sex scene with thinly veiled similes. Before I knew it, she had my detective novel sized descriptions in her hands, tantalizing the reader with creative euphamisms for body parts and actions. The sex scene went on so long, it almost became uncomfortable. And then, just when I thought I was out of euphamisms, we both crashed like hot caribbean waves of passion to a final climaxing paragraph. I wanted her to stay for a few more paragraphs, but she insisted on leaving. She put on her jacket and opened the door. "And now, I've got to go before the Big Boss knows I'm gone." "But what about the cryptic clue?" I queried. "It goes with the plot device. she stated, then darted out the door. I looked at the device still sitting on my desk. All the sudden, the cryptic clue made more sense. Chapter 4 - Action without character I found myself outside the office of The Big Boss. "So, you want to see The Big Boss?" sneered one of the two bodyguards watching the door. "Nobody gets to see The Big Boss!" And with that, we had a fight sequence, which I naturally won through cleverness and luck. As I stepped over the unconscious bodies, I said a witty pun, relating to the manner in which I defeated them so cleverly. "So," said The Big Boss as I walked in, "you are most persistent. That is why I set a trap." What a fool I was, to be trapped so easily. "And I have my assistant, the lady from chapter one, to thank." I looked behind The Big Boss and spied her. I wanted to say something to mislead the reader, but The Big Boss cut me off. "And now, its time to meet your doom." laughed The Big Boss. And suddenly, before I could interject, the chapter ended. Chapter 5 - The Plot Revealed When chapter 5 started, I was in a dangerous predicament. "You see you are in a dangerous predicament," declared The Big Boss, "and its obvious that it will be eventually fatal, unless you produce an escape." I looked around the room, but had no clue to an escape, except for a plate of red herring next to the controls of the predicament. If I could reach the herring... "Now, my enemy, it is time for me to reveal my evil plan. You see, the 'Plot Device' and the 'Cryptic Clue' are only part of the puzzle. I will now add "New Information" to turn it into a sinister plan!" And with that, he revealed a sinister plan. When he was done, he added, "now all that's left to do is implement the plan." My mind was racing. How was I going to stop him? "... And the only way the sinister plan can be stopped is by you, since you are now familiar with it! That is why you must be eliminated. As you can see, you are in a dangerous predicament. If you do not get out of it in 20 minutes, it will kill you. I would love to stick around and see your demise, but, for some odd reason, I can't hang out for 20 minutes, and I don't see a need just to kill you right now." I wanted to say something clever, but all that came out was "I'm going to get you for this." "You can't get me," he said. He obviously didn't know about Chapter 7. "And if you try, I'll kill you... Just like I killed your father!" Now I had even more motivation! And when The Big Boss meets his untimely demise, then the reader will be sympathetic. "And now, I its time say something that I think is clever, but only reveals my lack of intelligence and humor." And with that, he turned to exit, but not before picking up the plate of red herring. I was left alone. The Chapter was coming to a close, and there were no obvious sign of escape. Chapter 6 - The Escape With the red herring gone, my only other chance for escape was if I could reach the "Deux ex machina" in my pocket. Even though I tried valiantly, I ultimately failed in order to build suspense. "I'm not a Deux ex machina, but I'm close." I looked up. It was her again. "Although you didn't expect me, I did show some foreshadowing. And now its time for me to reveal that I'm really on your side, and want to take down The Big Boss too, because he killed someone close to me." She spent a few minutes building her character, and then she gave me a kiss. As nice as it was, I had to make a witty comment about getting me out of the dangerous predicament I was in. Luckily, she was able to pull out a timely escape, right when the dangerous predicament went off. We both expelled a sigh of relief. "I think its time for a scene change and a climax." I took her hand and exited, fully aware of what had to be done in the next chapter. Chapter 7 - The Climax We raced to the scene of the sinister plot as fast as we could. As I jumped out of my car, I spied The Big Boss, who turned to face me. "So, you escaped from my dangerous predicament. I will be more careful now." With that he ordered his henchmen to attack me. After a long and precarious battle, I end up killing them in gruesome, yet clever, and sometimes humorous ways. I looked up at The Big Boss when I noticed that he had the lady in his clutches. "This is the part where it seems like all is lost." he said condescendingly. I only had one shot. Using a combination of skill, cleverness, and luck, I was able to kill The Big Boss, save the girl, and stop the sinister plan, all at the same time. As I looked down at The Big Boss's body, I couldn't help notice the giant denumount that his death left. The girl and I exchanged knowing glances and left the chapter. Chapter 8 - Epilogue? When we were finally alone, we embraced. "I guess, all that's left is to wrap things up with the story line," I said. I reviewed how everything tied together, and how killing The Big Boss tied up a lot of story lines and motivations. "You forgot one thing," said the girl. I was puzzled. Here we are at the end of the story. What else was left?" Suddenly, before I could have even guessed it was coming, I was hit by a surprise ending. Still reeling, I turned to look at her. "See you in the sequel," she exclaimed, leaving me, and the reader wanting more. THE END --end-- |
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