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Creative Works What makes something romantic?
by the Phillionaire

One day some (male) co-workers and I were agonizing what to get our spouses for Valentine's day. We realized that just getting flowers or candy didn't seem romantic enough for some reason. We thought about it, and realized that we probably needed to determine what was 'romantic' really meant.

One suggested that it should be something expensive, but we've seen cheap or free things that have been considered romantic. Another thought that it should be some kind of suprise. Of course, on Valentine's day, how could you possibly surprise someone who was expecting something romantic?

When all was said and done, we came up with some basic rules.
1. It has to be unexpected.
2. It has to be a sacrifice.
3. Some measure of thought has to go into it.

Let's look at the first item - Unexpected, or a surprise. Unfortunately, on Valentine's day, we can't choose the time too much. So we have to come up with something that they never would have guessed. What to choose relies heavily on the next two rules.

Sacrifice - One of my customer's husband works at a florist. He can get flowers anytime he wants. Therefore, bringing home flowers is absolutely no trouble for him at all, and consequently, not romantic. Even if he pays for them, it took no effort. In this case, it wasn't the expense that counted.

One time, I picked up a nice card for my wife while I was at the grocery store picking up some items. She thought it was very sweet, but then she asked if I stopped especially at the store for the card, or if I picked it up as an aside. She still appreciated the card, but I think she would have thought it to be more romantic if I had gone out just for the card.

"It's the thought that counts." - We've heard this plenty of times before, but most of us aren't sure what that means. I think what that means (and I have to say 'I think' because the definition and expectations change constantly) is that we have to prove that we were thinking of them while we're not around them. This is very important to most women. Most women think of their partners periodically throughout the day, whereas men can spend the entire day at work and not once think about the woman they love the most. That's one of the reasons its so hard to be romantic, because it never crosses our minds!

So, how do we men do something romantic? Here are a few things I've come up with.

Using electronic devices like "Outlook" and handheld computers, set up timed reminders that periodically remind you to call or pick up something.
Only buy flowers if things are going good - never, ever after a fight. Otherwise, flowers will be viewed as a reminder of arguments, and lose their romantic power.
Don't give gifts on a particular schedule. Don't bring flowers every Friday, or call at a certain time every week. Mix it up a bit.
Don't always give the same gift. ("oh, another box of chocolates...") Sometimes, going out into the garden (especially a neighbors) and picking some wildflowers works. That shows thought and sacrifice.
Write it down. They love to see it in writing. If you can't come up with anything, you can always use "I love you more than anything." That almost always works.
Don't let them know you read this, or any other romantic advice. Remember Cyrano de Bergerac, they fall in love with the one with the ideas.

Remember, it doesn't take much. In fact, just trying is half the battle.

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